An Honest Post about Anxiety plus 5 Ways to Help Yourself


Anxiety

For the past few months I have been deliberating whether or no to write this post. But as I kept thinking about it I decided to take that as I should. 

Personal issues aren't something I would normally talk about on my blog however I know a lot of people suffer from anxiety problems and it's something that needs to be talked about more often and a lot more openly. 

Anxiety is something we can all experience from time to time - from dreading a dentist appointment or working yourself up before an exam, to fearing small tasks such as shopping or going on public transport. Of course dreading 'none fun' tasks is normal and anxiety in these situations will always pass but the problem comes when our brain feels unnecessary fear which results in distress and physical side effects. 

Physical side effects from anxiety and panic attacks vary so widely, so I won't be listing them all here, but I would say that if you are feeling symptoms such as nausea, sweating/feeling hot, pins and needles feeling (generally in hands/neck/face), feeling a loss of control, changed breathing or feeling faint in different situations or even just over thinking situations, then you are probably experiencing anxiety. Also from a less physical side you might feel like you need to flee - looking for the nearest exit, or feel like people are aware that you are acting differently (I promise you 9 times out of 10 they aren't) or simply have a feeling of dread that is so hard to explain properly - even to yourself. 

Suffering from anxiety can be isolating as it's easy to think no one else is suffering from the same thing and opt-out of doing thing you once enjoyed. Plus I think we naturally try to deal with things ourselves as admitting any problem can seem like a weakness or a failing of some kind. However if you are suffering from panic attacks or anxiety the first step is to understand it isn't a weakness and the next step is to be open about it, I promise it is something that really helps! (Even if that means leaving me an anonymous comment or email if you have never spoken about it before - it's a step in the right direction!). 

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My own anxiety started over 3 years ago now from a few highly stressful events. Once time had passed and I felt I was moving on anxiety would appear if I had somewhere important to go or if I was doing something new. I bought Calms to take in case I had to do something but felt like simply avoiding different situations - going out for meals, travelling long distances, would fix the problem. Anxiety then started to creep into every day tasks, a bit like ivy I like to think, this was when I realised I properly had anxiety. Since then I've had periods where I've felt anxiety was totally taking over my life and even worried it would lead to a mental illness (looking back I should have forced myself to go to the doctors as no one should feel that way). However at some point I realised I could have more control of it and decided to relax more and help myself with some of the things I mention below. Right now I feel my anxiety is so much better than it was... I can now go on a plane and enjoy it, go to the cinema again and spot when anxiety is coming on and calm myself to some degree (most of the time!). I still don't feel I want to live with bouts of anxiety, so I'm now considering going to the doctors for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy but I do feel like I'm on the right road and I'm quite proud of that fact! 

So without anymore rambling here are 5 pointers that may help anyone suffering from anxiety. 

Confide 
 I personally feel like no problem should be taboo and feel like anxiety has made me a much more open and understanding person. So talking to someone that you know that has experienced anxiety problems or even mental health issues could be a great person to talk to and open up to about your anxiety. However if you don't know of anyone talking to someone you are comfortable with can also really help. This won't instantly reduce your anxiety but it can definitely take a weight of your shoulders and also get you talking and thinking about ways you could help yourself. Also letting someone you are often with know you get anxiety can make doing things more comfortable and it's great to feel like you have that support to rely on. 

Relax 
 Even after anxiety has passed life can seem very stressful and you can find yourself maintaining a level of stress, which eventually leads to more anxiety. To break this finding things that make you feel relaxed and happy is important. I now feel I don't often relax like I use to be naturally able to but I make a conscious effort to... lay  in bed watching a film then having a good night's sleep, I take the time to read a book and walk my dog (being outside and being active I've discovered to be so important!) these all bring me little pieces of joy and make me feel relaxed. Also whilst you are feeling relaxed sometimes note/be aware how your body and mind feel and accept that you are the one controlling that.

Distract 
When anxiety arises our minds like to think about what's going in our bodies (we become super aware of our breathing, rising body temperature, cramping stomach etc), whilst also thinking about the problems that could cause (I could breath too fast and pass out, need to go to the toilet), plus thoughts of how to escape or if people are noticing. So our mind is pretty much going at 100 miles an hour and actually making us feel a whole lot worse. Distraction may be to appreciate small details around you (more on that below with being mindful), listening to music, looking up at the sky, playing a game on your phone, even doodling in a notebook you keep in your bag (or if you have anxiety at home why not buy a colouring book... yes, they actually do them for adults on Amazon!). Realise that focusing on how you feel when you get anxiety is the worst thing you can do. Once you can learn to distract yourself you will notice your anxiety reduce.

Be Mindful 
 To be mindful is to be in the present moment which will quiet our mind and stop racing thoughts. I personally don't like to focus on how my body is feeling when I have anxiety so instead I pay great detail to everything else around me. If say I'm outside I sit down and look at the sky, I look at what the pavement looks like, I look at the people around me, I notice if I can smell anything. This may seem like a pointless exercise to do but if you make being totally present (not thinking about a million other things) an exercise you need to do gradually your mind will relax. I have also discovered focusing on a part of my body that isn't affected by anxiety to also really help. I simply make my hand into a fist and notice how my knuckles become whiter, my nails slightly digging into my palm, my wrist becoming ridged and the overall feeling of pressure building up in my hand. I hold this for 10 seconds then slowly relax my grip and stretch out my fingers enjoying the sensation of my hand being relaxed again. This not only distracts my mind (it can be done over and over until you feel more calm - great in public situations) but shows how I am in control of how my body feels and how it can be relaxed.

Be Your own Therapist 
 I know quite a lot of people now that have anxiety and most have never been to the doctors about it. This isn't to say you shouldn't go but I think it's in us all to try to deal with it first. However it's important to help ourselves (maybe trying the above tips) and then to also set tasks and check in on how we are doing once in a while. Anxiety can hold us back from things and avoidance can easily creep in, this may seem okay but the longer we avoid things the more intimidating they can feel. My last personal goal was to get back into going to the cinema, something I use to enjoy. But due to feeling closed in and having to stay put I would end up having anxiety and walking out, so I simply stopped going. I eventually decided to list the things that would make going to the cinema easier - going when it wasn't busy, going to see something light-hearted/funny, making sure I wasn't too hot or too full, not pre-booking tickets. My first attempt was pretty successful and this only made me want to try again but to go one step further I went at night which meant it would be more busy. This time I was aware I wasn't as relaxed but I still managed to watch the entire film without having anxiety. I'm even going to see 'The Fault In Our Stars' (a non-funny film) with my sister this Wednesday! I've also done a similar thing with flying and going on holiday because I'm aware that I need to set myself goals. You may want to start small and confront a situation that gives you the least anxiety and repeat that until you are happy to move onto something more challenging with the added knowledge you can do it. It's so easy to revert into yourself when anxiety develops but overtime realising you can be your own therapist can get your life back on track!

Anxiety can be super tough be we can all work towards a happier more relaxed mind. If you suffer from anxiety and every want to off load feel free to email me because I definitely understand how hard it can be! 

Hope this has been helpful to some.

Fee xo.

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Thank you for sharing this. I’m glad you took the time to write it. I struggle sometimes. It’s finding the time to relax that I find particularly difficult. Even in bed my mind isn’t always at ease!
www.britishbeautyaddict.com
Thank you for sharing <3 It took me four years to muster up the courage to tell my GP about my anxiety, as it had become so bad that I would actually have panic attacks in the GP waiting room, before appointments! I'm now in touch with a wellbeing team, and they're helping me through things, but it's a slow process, and self help really is part of the challenge.

If you or anyone else fancies reading about anxiety from the perspective of a diagnosed agoraphobe, my post is here: http://caramelcats.blogspot.co.uk/2014/04/agoraph....

Fantastic post as always, Fee, and well done for overcoming it <3
1 reply · active 574 weeks ago
You are much braver than I am, I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks, and still don't feel comfortable sharing my experiences, but I think it's great when people are open and honest about it! I can really relate to your story, and your tips for trying to help it are really good! Hope you are well!

Joanne www.fashionpolaroids.co.uk
Thank you for sharing this post! I have been suffering from anxiety for about the past 3 years (since I was about 16) and from reading your post and the things you found the most challenging, I can see a simliarly to the things I find challenging. I am starting to feel better since seeing my GP, but still have moments of anxiety and panic but I know its a slow process and with time it will get better and easier.

Again, great post. Glad to hear that you are feeling better and are more in control of it. Well done :)
I just wanted to say, thank you for writing this post. I've suffered from anxiety for about a year now, and at the time I thought I was going mad, I'd never known that much about anxiety or the physical symptoms.

I think it's great that you've managed to find a way to counsel yourself. I've been to the GPs, but the waiting list for CBT is so long that I've had to develop my own coping mechanisms. It sounds like an excuse to eat chocolate and take naps, but I've always found my anxiety is worse when my blood sugar is low or I'm tired.

Well done for writing this post.
Thanks for sharing such a personal side of your life with us. I've only just realised that what I've been labelling as just me being a bit "different" is actually anxiety and finding out that so many others go through it has put me at ease. I found it hard to tell my parents because they don't know too much about it. My dad actually said at first that I'm too young to have anxiety and there isn't anything I should be getting worried about (I'm 17) but after trying to explain numerous times he finally realised it is a big issue I'm trying to deal with. My mum actually realised that she too has a little bit of anxiety (it's mostly social anxiety like me) and so I felt comfortable sharing with her ways to help reduce it. I find reading posts like this or watching youtube videos on the subjects really helpful especially if the person has a calming or familiar voice or their technique of writing is very good. I've just downloaded a few apps on my phone including Headspace, Calm and Mindful. I'm going to start using the apps when I'm in a place such as the bus station or on a bus where I feel my social anxiety. Setting goals as you said is a great way to help it! I'm going to be getting an apprenticeship come September and I want to set a goal of trying to interact with the people I'd be working with more as I actually get anxiety over meeting new people.

Great post,

Jennie.
Thank you for such an honest post!
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart
I am 33 and have been suffering with various degrees of anxiety for the past few years. As I'm getting older and should be becoming more confident, the anxiety is getting worse - whilst I am actually the happiest I've ever been.
Small things that people take for granted panic me, waiting in a long queue, going on a bus, going for a meal, going somewhere new. I always have to check the internet to find public toilet locations before I go anywhere, as when I start to feel flushed and light headed and my stomach cramps I need to rush to a toilet.
I avoid situations, so I haven't eaten out for over two years, as the last time we did, we had to ask for the bill when they brought our starters - I just had to get out. I've found a mobile hairdresser to come to the house, as going to the hairdressers was particularly stressful - once i had the gown on I felt trapped.
My other half doesn't fully understand - I have IBS and when I say I feel unwell, he thinks it's just my stomach, I don't think he realises how deep this runs.
Thanks for sharing - It's good to know I'm not the only one.
1 reply · active 574 weeks ago
Thanks for sharing this. I am a therapist, who sees a lot of people with anxiety. I think these are great tips. Particularly, being your own therapist. That is my goal with every one of my clients-for them to do this themselves.
Really helpful post, thanks for so much for sharing this! I've really wanted to write a post on this topic as it's been ruining a lot for me lately! Thanks again xxx

malikachady.blogspot.com
This is very helpful to hear as I think that I am slowly getting a worse anxiety as my stress levels are rising, and over all I don't feel that great about my current situation! xx
www.nastyadts.blogspot.co.uk
These are helpful tips! I suffer from anxiety, and i'm glad other people are talking about it, because it helps me to feel less crazy.

Brittany | soulalien.blogspot.com
Thank you for sharing. I've had a similar post ready to publish for a while and I've just put it off. Don't know why, I guess it's hard to share not-so-fun things.

A therapist once told me that anxiety is something I would have to deal with forever. I can live with it, I just have to learn to live with it. And that's what I've been doing since 2006. I think of the 5 things you listed, distracting yourself is the one that's worked best for me. If I have my mind occupied on fun things, or just things I enjoy, I don't feel anxiety creeping in.

Relaxing is always good and you should always have a place to go to, a song to sing in your mind, something to grab onto when you're feeling anxiety coming. A month ago I had an anxiety attack at work, I told my friend and she took me to sit on a couch and held my hand while I sang to myself and tried to make the bad feelings go away. IT WORKED! Nobody was more surprised than me. So yeah, ask for help and confide if you need to.
I love this post i have suffered with anxiety since i was 13 im now 24 i also have other illnesses that go along side the anxiety but i know exactly how your feeling.. i too went for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for a few months but as i had my other problems aswell the therapy didn't work as well as i would have liked but iv'e heard good things about it from other people!
i love reading posts like this as it assures people that they are not alone
Great post. Very helpful
L x Http://workingmumy.blogspot.com
great blog. I have very bad anxiety for the past 6 yrs. I have had CBT and it was brilliant, yes I waited a long time to get seen but it was so worth it. Some of your tips are very CBT like. Such as challenging yourself to do things and stop avoidance behaviour. I've come the conclusion I will always have anxiety to some extent but I now have the skills to manage it and myself. CBT and therapy has played a big part in this. CBT is not easy and you are constantly challenging yourself to do things. If you do have anxiety go to your GP and don't be afraid to ask for help.
Thank your for writing this post I think that when people speak out about their personal issues, it really helps people who are too afraid to or can't. These types of post really help with people feeling less alone and of course, your tips they can use as well! I think that it's important that the mental health stigma will be abolished and people will just understand that sometimes life isn't so simply lived for people, that people actually struggle at times to go through the day so again, thank you for sharing
http://emicphany.blogspot.ca
This was very brave, thank you for sharing it with us! x
So glad you wrote this fee! Exercise or just going for a quick 15 minute walk each morning has really helped with my anxiety and my days are always better when I do this. I instantly feel more relaxed. Just going out in the fresh air, essential when I work a desk job, and having a bit of time to myself and let my mind focus on where I'm walking and my surroundings instead of worrying about everything :) xx
Wonderful Article.
I've been stressed/depressed for a while now.
I'm going to take your steps into consideration.
Also something that helps me is SAM-E,
its an over the counter mood stabilizer.
Helped me out a bit considering taking a higher dose though.
http://www.chaotik.tk/
Check out/ Subscribe to my site if you care to <3

-Chelsea
When I feel an anxiety attack coming, I try to talk to someone in hopes of distracting me. I have not experienced panic attacks so I'm fine with people trying to distract me. What I'm not okay with is people making fun of me because they don't know what in the world an anxiety attack is. I also have a therapist so that's kind of a small comfort. I'm told to do breathing exercises.. HOWEVER, when I do them, I feel more anxious than when I didn't do them. I probably should mention that in my next session.

Also, since I'm super obsessed with British YouTubers, I just watch their videos repeatedly until I have distracted myself enough that I've calmed down. Of course this isn't as effective at work, but I listen to them instead of watching them. It helps me forget what it is I'm anxious about :)
I am suffering from anxiety and have been on and off for years. It creeps up on you and once it is there is hard to find calm and balance as the physical feelings seem to create more anxiety and a vicious cercle situation.
I am glad I read your post and admire you for having the courage to write about a difficult subject. I will try to follow some of your advice Thank you.
Brilliant post! So proud of you, love you lots little sister, see you later xxx
I have only been recently diagnosed with anxiety, and my GP did nothing but ask "What are you anxious about?", gave me some websites to look at and told me not to take deep breaths. I felt like he didn't help at all, except tell me what the feelings I had were. So I've been reading blog posts of people experiences and how they deal with the feelings to try and help me through it.

It flares up every now and again. It was quite bad the week before I went on holiday, but it does seem to have calmed down now. I usually feel my worst when on the bus to work in the morning, as I'll start to feel sick and know that I can't just get off if I need to do be sick as I'll be late for work, and if I was sick I'd embarrass myself in front of the other passengers. I've been getting buses for years so it feels ridiculous to now be feeling ill when I get on one, but I'm hoping by confronting these feelings every day, I will learn to cope.

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